Something is
Slightly Awry!
You know something is slightly awry with the world
when your milk deliveries start arriving at midnight, with loud music playing
and bottles chinking like the drivers are off to attend a raucous party. I’ve had my milk delivered for about 15 years
and it seems the rest of the city has also decided it’s a good idea, hence the
van has turned into a roving all night party bus, delivering milk practically
the day before it’s due. Don’t get me
wrong I’m not complaining, all hail the milky!
It just seems ironic that since our good ol’ reliable milkman retired a few
years ago, the milk has often either failed to turn up at all, or pitched up
late only to be found congealed on the doorstep when we get home later that day. Our old milkman; I’ll call him Bob, used to deliver
on time whatever the weather, week in week out.
He was a legend. And I’m sure he
used to have one of those proper milk vans, you know, the electric ones. Quiet, and environmentally friendly! I’m liking the new found efficacy of our milk
delivery team, let’s hope it doesn’t decline once we’re are out of
lockdown. They can carry on parting if
they wish.
The other reason I know that there’s something not
quite right with the world is that the car has stayed clean since I vacuumed it
a couple of weeks ago. With only me
driving it once a week to get groceries, there is a distinct lack of the kids’
rubbish strewn all over the foot wells, no rapidly moulding fruit discarded in a
nook in the car seat on the way to swimming. Nor are there any drink bottles sneakily
spilling their contents on the carpet.
The most ominous sign is that there are PCSOs patrolling
the woods at the bottom of our garden, moving on groups of people gathering for
their for picnic lunches over a sunny weekend.
I’ve never seen the woods so busy…
I have had so much time to ponder life the universe
and everything in it, that I have gone below naval gazing and started to wonder
what would happen if I tried to straighten my pubes. Actually, I’ve secretly wondered that for a
long time, it’s only now I’ve come dangerously close trying it, shying away only
because I’m not sure how I’d explain my scorched nether regions to the E&D
staff. It’s a little like the feeling
you get when you know you shouldn’t touch fire but you really want to play with
the melting wax on the candle.
I’m missing meeting up with my friends and family in
person, Zoom meetings are just not the same, especially when it cuts you off
abruptly after 40 minutes. I’m looking
forward to meeting new friends when this is all over too. By new friends I mean
Frit and Fredi, my co Adventure Queen 2019 Grant winners. All off us with Adventure plans thrown off
course by this pandemic, feeling slightly deflated and questioning the worth of
our dream and struggling to keep the magic and excitement of winning such a great
competition alive. I think that sums up
the way world feels for most of us now.
But us three are so lucky! Emma Frampton has managed to organise not
only the £500 grant and three pairs of shoes of our choice from Merrell, she
has now organised for us to receive a back pack of our choice from Osprey
too! So, I think I had better get on and
plan my trip for next year. After all the
accommodation in the lake district is likely to book out fast for 2021 assuming
that this is all over by then. With my
new back pack and shoes, I will be able to make like Bob and complete my
Coast2Coast Solo challenge whatever the weather.
My Wonder Woman legging finally arrived too, after a little
internet ordering glitch where I ended up with a pair of Super Girl leggings
which are far too short in the body! I
went out for my lock down run in said leggings, only to find that my midriff was
rather more on display than I would’ve like, as my top rode up and my trousers travelled
down. Note to self, get out and run
around the garden a bit more and stop comfort eating chocolate during these weird
times. But for a £7 from dubious website I’m grateful that I received anything
at all! I have ordered a couple of
things from dubious websites lately. The
sort of websites I would normally steer clear of due to their claims seeming too
good to be true. Not sure why I should
suddenly momentarily succumb to their lure.
Some strange lock down psychology at play. I’ll let you know if I’ve
been suckered or not if my orders fail to turn up. But am looking forward to wearing the Wonder Woman
ensemble on the trek, I’ve just got to make sure I don’t wear it out before next
year. Perhaps I’ll have a new inspiration by then anyway, Wonder Woman will be
so last year!
This coming week sees me back to the children’s
hospital, completing induction and mandatory training. Right now, I think that is adventure enough
for me, one which has already taught me never to say never. Hello again NHS, be gentle with me.
I bet the milk delivery arrives after I’ve left in the
morning…
